Nolte: Disney’s ‘Indy 5’ Tracks for Dismal $60M Opening Weekend

The groomers and child abusers at Disney face yet another box office humiliation with the news that Indiana Jones and the Dial Of Destiny is predicted to tank with a dismal $60 million opening weekend.

For context, here are previous opening weekend totals followed by those numbers adjusted for inflation and theater numbers:

• Dial of Destiny (2023): $60M (projected) — at least 4,000 theaters
• Crystal Sucks (2008): $100.1M – $142M — 4,260 theaters
• Last Crusade (1989): $29.3M – 72M — 2,327 theaters
• Temple of Doom (1984): $25.3M – $74M — 1,687 theaters
• Lost Ark (1981): $8.3M – $27.7M — 1,078 theaters

You also have to keep in mind that back in the glorious eighties, movies were not as front-loaded as they are today. In those days, movies would play for months and months. These days, because movies are generally so terrible, the goal is to sucker everyone into the opening weekend before word-of-mouth can spread. If Dial of Destiny collapses with a $60 million opening, it will be lucky to crawl to a $200 million domestic gross.

So why is this happening? Don’t we all love Indiana Jones?

Yeah, well, we did…

First off, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the This Movie Sucks damaged the brand considerably. Even with suck-up critics introducing that dog with a 77 percent fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes, in the end, no one was fooled. The movie made money—$317M domestic and nearly $800M worldwide—but it was coasting on nostalgia. Time has only soured Crystal Sucks all the more.

Think about this… If something that sucked as hard as Crystal Sucks sucked earned a 77 percent fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes, what must people be thinking now that Dial of Destiny sits at a dreadful 54 percent rating?

Then there’s the promotion campaign. Dial of Destiny released boring trailers and an even more terrible clip that screamed WOKE! And SUCKY GREEN SCREEN!

Honestly, why in the world did Disney cast someone as off-putting as Phoebe Waller-Not Cates instead of a babe like, say, Phoebe Cates? Oh, that’s right… failed LucasFilm girlboss, Kathleen Kennedy.

I would also argue that unless you’re talking about a 1970’s daytime game show, Dial of Destiny is a terrible title.

Finally, there’s the irreparable damage Disney has done to its brand, all in an effort to corrupt the innocence of children. Disney is openly and proudly using adult sexuality, homosexuality, drag queens, transsexuals, and transvestites to groom your children. Decent people no longer trust a Disney company that turned Lando Calrissian into a pansexual, Luke Skywalker into a child murderer, and Toy Story and Willow into a gay bar.

Now that Disney’s become demonic and controlled by its sexual fetishes, all the company can do is destroy and disappoint.

Sure, Dial of Destiny could rally before its release at the end of the month. But can it rally to a profit when it cost $300 million to produce, probably another $150 million to promote, and theaters take around half the gross? This sucker will have to make at least $700 million just to break even.

And if Dial of Destiny does tank, it will likely be Disney’s second tank in June. Pixar’s Elemental opens in about ten days, and its prospects are even glummer.

All Disney had to do was leave the kids alone, but this is what happens when you become a slave to your perversions—not only are you exposed as a child abuser, but you can no longer create. All you can do is destroy, and so far, Disney has destroyed two of the greatest brands in movie history: Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

I wish the sexual degenerates at Disney nothing but continued failure and humiliation. 

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.