OHIO – The White House
has expressed its mild disapproval of Pete Buttigieg for starting dozens of
massive explosions after the little perv learned the carnage inevitably
attracts swarms of firemen.
Pete’s latest sabotage happened in Miami, Ohio—a place the mayor assumed would have ‘the sexiest firemen in the Midwest.’
“Oh, for heaven’s
sake! We’ve got another chemical fire
happening in about twenty minutes!” Buttigieg yelled to a firehouse on his way
to the train tracks. “CNN says this fire
probably won’t be as hot, so you don’t need to bring shirts.”
Wearing a gas mask and sitting in a flamingo-themed lawn chair, Buttigieg gleefully watched the firemen try to extinguish the giant mushroom cloud of chemicals.
“We’ve got a real flamer
here!” a panicked firefighter yelled as he worked.
“Oh, I thought you’d never notice lil’ old me!” Pete shouted over the sound of people dying.
Update: Lindsey Graham believes all South Carolinian firemen should be on stand-by for a massive explosion near his house sometime next week.
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