FLUSHING, NY — Singer Derek Carter delivered an incredible rendition of the National Anthem today by simply singing the song exactly as it was written.
“Absolute perfection,” said witness Terrance Simms. “Turns out the key is to just, like, sing the National Anthem.”
Spectators at the ballpark said Mr. Carter did not add any extra notes, trills, or change the rhythm of the “Star-Spangled Banner” whatsoever. “Man, it was beautiful,” said New York Mets player Pete Alonso. “The singer altered absolutely nothing, which I’ve never heard before. It’s actually a really, really well-written song! Who knew?”
Mr. Carter was reportedly surprised by the warm reception, having simply sung the National Anthem. “I, uh, just followed the sheet music,” said Mr. Carter. “I guess most people don’t realize there’s no fermata over the word ‘free’ that requires you to hold the note for all eternity. The composer pretty well crushed it the first go-around.”
At publishing time, churchgoers had asked if Mr. Carter could sit down with Chris Tomlin to chat with him about “Amazing Grace”.
It is super important to know your stuff when it comes to debating ultra-MAGA Republicans about guns.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Read the full article here