WASHINGTON, D.C. — Many are praising President Biden for his swift and decisive leadership this morning. In a set of forceful and clear remarks to the country’s financial system, he called on all banks to stop collapsing immediately.
“Hey there, banks! Yeah, you! Stop it! I mean it! Not a joke!” said the President to a smiley face written on his thumb in Sharpie he mistook for one of his nieces. “You’ve collapsed long enough! I say, no more! That’s enough, banks! Cut it out right now, or so help me I’ll count to ten!”
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