WILMINGTON, DE – Maintaining a good work-life balance is essential. And credit where credit’s due, fictional President Joe Biden has struck an admirable equilibrium between the two.
“I’ve practiced medicine for over thirty years, and I can barely detect a life,” a White House doctor said of Biden. “And when you juxtapose that with bearly working, it might be the most amazing work-life balance I’ve seen. Although, Fetterman’s up there.”
Biden’s most loyal
constituency, twice-divorced, twice-masked, obese women who identify as men
with at least seven cats, have begun replicating Joe’s example of a great work-life balance. After falling
down four flights of stairs, a whale-sized Biden voter in Seattle lay on the
floor of its apartment complex for roughly twelve days.
“The work I missed
was equal to the life I missed. Joe would’ve been so proud of me,” the
great whale said.
The vaccine has also
proven to be a safe and effective way to achieve a work-life balance for
“They don’t work.
And now, they don’t live,” Dr. Fauci sheepishly said. “So, I would
tell folks like Rand Paul to look at the fantastic work-life balance the vaccine
brings. In fact, if you want a resting heart rate of zero? Please get your boosters.”
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