WASHINGTON, D.C. –Joe Biden’s groundbreaking gun control bill may have been undermined a bit when it was immediately shot up from a gun his son was holding.
“With this legislation, we have finally put an end to dangerous and stupid criminals recklessly shooting off their guns,” fictional President Joe Biden said, holding up the bill.
However, upon completing that sentence, a series of blasts ripped
through the bill the fictional President was holding in the air.
“He’s here! Cornpop’s come for me!” Joe screamed as chaos erupted.
It turns out the Washington media was not too worried about
“Yeah, we hardly noticed the whizzing bullets because most
of us live in Democrat-run cities,” CNN’s Jim Acosta said. “We were far more rattled to see that our
progressive, anti-second amendment legislation didn’t prevent the incident in
the first place! Why didn’t the gun listen
to the bill?”
Despite the liberal journalists seeing their worldview
collapse, the perpetrator still needed to be caught.
“Hey, what’s this? Is
this a trail of parmesan cheese leading out this door?” a secret service agent asked.
As usual, the parmesan cheese led straight to a frightened
Hunter Biden, hiding in the fort he built in the situation room. There, the media, secret service, and President
reassured the boy that accidentally firing off weapons inches from the Commander
In Chief’s face was ‘nothing to be ashamed of.’
“Now, come on out of there, and let’s get you some soup and a $2.6 million book deal,” Joe said, reaching for his son’s hand.
Update: Hunter was desperate to learn if his gunfire had killed anyone. “I just need to be sure there aren’t any widows who need comforting in this trying time,” Hunter said.
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