LOS ANGELES, CA — As writers and actors continue to strike against the insatiable greed of the studio executives who have oppressed them for years, The world is now in its third month of realizing they’re just fine without Hollywood.
“At first I was worried, but then I remembered that Hollywood doesn’t really contribute anything of meaningful value to the world whatsoever,” said one local woman. “Without Hollywood, I can still go outside, spend time with my kids, and catch up on decades worth of classic films that are much better than anything they make today!”
“Thanks for helping me see the light, WGA!”
Experts believe that with writers and actors on strike, many people will spend less time watching remakes, reboots, and Marvel sequels and instead be involved in activities that enrich the mind and give life to the soul. “This is an absolute catastrophe,” said Disney President Bob Iger. “Without the ability to turn the minds of your children into quivering blobs of inert pudding, we’re finished.”
At publishing time, the world breathed another sigh of relief upon realizing the strike would prevent any sequels to Greta Gerwig’s Barbie.
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