MALIBU, CA – Expert sex trafficker and lawbreaking enthusiast Hunter Biden has weighed in on the arrest of Andrew Tate.
Tate, who has defied numerous demands from the WEF to become a sniveling little bata male, was taken into custody for testing ten times the legal limit of not giving an eff.
Thankfully, Hunter is offering his wisdom to the troubled kickboxer.
“Andrew, if you’re able to hear this, I invite you to follow my lead of health, moral purity, and methodically respecting the laws,” Biden said, rubbing his teeth. “As a young man, temptations will arise. But when you see that temptation, you grab it by the ponytail, smack its ass, rebind its mouth, and send it back to the Long Beach shipping container where she came from. Ask for Louie. Make sure he sets aside 10% for the Big Guy.”
Hunter then delivered the most critical advice for Tate.
“Film it all. Seriously, keep that video camera rolling and capture all your deeds on high resolution. An iPhone will work, but if you really want to prove your innocence, hire a crew to film it all,” Hunter implored. Once you’ve got a few decades’ worth of incriminating—I mean honorable footage, drop your hardware off at a random computer store. This way, it’ll be kept private.”
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