AMES, IA — Poultry farmers around the nation have discovered 42-inch TVs playing footage of Hillary Clinton in all the chicken coops, leaving many to suspect this is why the birds have completely lost their sex drive.
“We’ve got a chicken shortage, and we couldn’t figure out why they weren’t breading. Now we know,” a farmer in Iowa said. “Hillary is such a shrill, disgusting thing. It’s tanked their desire to procreate to Lindsay Graham levels.”
The discovery of the TVs was made by none other than Hillary’s husband, Bill. He noticed the chicken shortage and encouraged the farmers to check the coops.
“A complete evaporation of sex drive overnight? Just like that?” Bill asked, snapping his fingers. “Yeah, I said, ‘I’ve seen this before. Are we sure these chickens aren’t being shows footage of the great beast—I mean, my lovely wife?”
Naturally, in their ongoing effort to reduce the human population, it was learned the World Economic Forum was behind the TV monitor scheme. Klaus Schwab defended the decision with the following remark:
“Zome beople say Hillary is not useful. But they Hunderesdimate how guickly sche can kill off zee lipido of poth men und fowl. Vee love this about the great beast.”
Update: Both the hens and
rooster seem to be sexually rejuvenated after the TVs began playing the footage
of Donald Trump smacking Hillary with a golf ball.
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