JACKSONVILLE, FL — Local wife Margo Gerfman was seen scrolling through Zillow listings in search of ideal 20-acre farms up for sale after having planted, grown, and harvested a bountiful apron full of three tomatoes.
“Ooh, here’s one in northern Vermont that has its own barn! How cute!” said the up-and-coming farm wife shortly after posting photos of her tomato trio to Instagram and changing her bio to say “Homesteading Influencer.”
“I wonder if 20 acres is enough,” Gerfman was overheard asking her accountant husband whom she had just scolded for trying to eat one of the tomatoes during another photo shoot. “If I’m going to be educating millions on the joys of farming as a humble farmwife influencer, I may need more land for all the cultivation.”
Witnesses described Gerfman’s additional Google searches included queries such as, “What do chickens eat?” and “How to can homegrown rutabagas” followed by “What is a rutabaga?”
At publishing time, Gerfman’s hopes for a quiet life on a farm were shattered after she learned they were too remote for DoorDash.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!
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