NASHVILLE, TN–Fans have long speculated that Taylor Swift’s hit song, “Stupid Little Potato Man,” is about former CNN personality Brian Stelter. Now the serious newsman is finally weighing in.
“It’s not about me, you guys, so stop it. Taylor’s song is about, uuuhh, society. And sometimes artists view society as sort of like a stupid guy who looks like a potato,” Stelter said. “I’m really smart. So irregardless of my shape, it’s not about me.”
But the ‘Swifties’ aren’t buying it. They continue to point to the song’s lyrics, which read:
He sits on his stool, and I can still see him drool.
His head is filled with Playdough, and he’s shaped like a potato.
The appetite of five horses, say my reliable sources.
Every day he covers for the klan, our stupid little potato man.
Yeah! America’s stupid little potato man.
Amazingly, Taylor Swift
is now admitting ‘Stupid Little Potato Man’ is about Brian Stelter, resetting
the newsman’s streak of truth-telling to zero.
Upon hearing the news, Stelter accused Swift of being a raging ‘tatorphobic.’
Update: Still no word on who Taylor’s new single, ‘Farty Inflation-
Causing Pervert At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.’ is about.
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