BALTIMORE, MD–Democrats everywhere are refusing to appear alongside President Joe Biden and you can now add Hunter to that list.
Reportedly, Hunter is now leaving his
father in the car as he conducts his criminal activity in the Baltimore area.
“Hey Pops, tell you what, you stay here
and keep the seat warm,” Hunter explained while rapidly rubbing his teeth in
the sun visor mirror. “Use some of that classic Biden gas
you’re famous for.”
Joe, who still doesn’t understand that
everyone hates him, was overheard pleading with Hunter.
“Awe, c’mon man. Let me come. I
still got it. Remember when I gave that prosecutor six hours to bury your….uhh…
those dead hookers in the… White House lawn.” Joe said trailing off.
Finally, Hunter relented and allowed his father to attend an important drug deal.
“Seriously? You brought Sniffs?” Anthony
Weiner scoffed at Hunter. “I’m trying to run a clean
operation selling opioids and sex trafficking and you bring the guy who totally
botched the Afghanistan pull out? I just don’t feel
comfortable being seen with someone like that. We have
reputations, ya know?”
Once the two Biden men were in a dimly lit apartment with dozens of criminals, Joe inadvertently asked everyone, “Did you guys…ya know, the thing?” This enraged the hostile men and they screamed at Hunter, “You told him about the thing?! We said no one ever mentions the thing!”
Update: The two barely escaped as hundreds of bullets began flying, making it one of the more successful days of the Biden presidency.
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